


Infection

by RensSaxophone



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:15:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29036832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: The air has become polluted and has begun to infect those that breathe it in, leaving the uninfected to struggle to scavenge for supplies- among the survivors are Tokiya, Ranmaru, Ren and Masato who have managed to stick in a group and remain uninfected.
Relationships: Hijirikawa Masato/Jinguuji Ren (minor), Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warnings ; sickness, angst

Two years ago the air had changed. 

At first, it was considered pollution. People that breathed it in had gotten very, very sick. 

The sickness had come in phases over the span of about a week. It started with a nasty, cold like sickness that slowly progressed to the outside of the person’s body. By the time the week came to a close and the person’s consciousness was virtually gone, they were physically disformed. It was a horrible, terrible turning. It was assumed that the infected nearly lost all of themselves, but the issues arose in the parts of themselves that they kept.

The only other way to become infected is to be near an infected. They become contagious once they’ve turned, and staying near them for a long period of time will infect an uninfected. They don’t typically _attack_ \- but they follow. They stick close to those they want to infect, though they tend to stay near the loved one that they infect, even after they ‘ _turn_ ’. 

That is a large reason why there are quite a few groups of infected, but most of them are very small. The infected aren’t interested in other infected- but if you get an infected on you, you’re not likely to ever lose them.

They _are_ susceptible to death, however. It is possible to kill the infected- but it’s difficult to kill an infected when they look like someone you love. 

It’s not as hard when you run into a group of them that you’ve never met before in your life. 

The infected may still try to infect someone that are a stranger to them, but they don’t tend to stay long. 

Ranmaru had asked Tokiya before about the expression that sometimes crosses his face when Tokiya sees a lone infected. 

_”...It’s different than the zombie apocalypse that horror movies show.” Tokiya was standing a bit closer to the window in their base than Ranmaru would like, but Ranmaru doesn’t mention it while Tokiya is speaking. “And this one has clearly been turned quite some time ago. It’s just… aimless. I have sympathy for the inflicted.” Tokiya lets the curtain fall, and Ranmaru pulls Tokiya closer by the waist. Away from the window- as subtly as he can. Tokiya sees through it but says nothing. “They have enough of themselves to **seek out** people they love. They **stay with them**. It’s hard to explain. I just… don’t know what I’d choose, if my choice meant anything. If I’d rather be a lone one to keep you human, or if it would be better to not be alone.”_

When the air had become dangerous, Tokiya had stuck with a group. When they started, it was Tokiya, Ranmaru, Ren, Masato and Otoya. 

For the majority of their friends, Tokiya wasn’t sure what had happened. 

He had seen the fate of Syo. The only reason that the entirety of the world isn’t infected is because the pollution had started slow and had only targeted certain people- particularly people with serious medical conditions and weakened immune systems, and Syo’s heart condition fell under those conditions. 

Tokiya hadn’t seen what happened to Natsuki. Tokiya can only hope for the best, but he knows that Natsuki would be one of the first people that Syo would search for. 

Otoya had stayed with them for only a year, because Cecil had found his way to their hideout at the time. 

Otoya hadn’t _given_ himself to Cecil- but Cecil had forced his way into the hideout and was more than content to infect _all_ of them. 

Otoya had chosen to lead Cecil away, and Cecil was drawn more to Otoya than he had been to the rest of the group. They hadn’t had much time to convince Otoya, and Otoya wouldn’t let them kill him. 

It wouldn’t have been an easy choice to kill Cecil, but not killing Cecil had also lost them Otoya. Tokiya wasn’t sure that there was a way for them to win. 

Right now, they were in their fourth safehouse. They usually only found shelter for a few months before it became safer to leave than it was to stay. 

Scavenging was a large part of their life. Usually, they went in pairs. 

Tokiya hadn’t actually figured out that Ren and Masato were together until the four men had started staying together permanently. When their idol jobs fell through because of the apocalypse situation they’ve found themselves in, they stopped bothering to hide their relationship. 

Though it wasn’t as if Tokiya and Ranmaru hid theirs, either. At this point… what was the point?

It meant that when Ren went out to scavenge, he brought Masato, and when Ranmaru went, he brought Tokiya. They went out with two empty bags, gas masks and weapons. Unfortunately, guns were hard to come by and they owned one. The group that left tended to bring the blunter items like a baseball bat or a crowbar and they left the gun at base, in case of emergency. Ammo was just as hard to come by as the guns, after all, and they had less than ten bullets. They had only ever used one in the year and a half that they had owned it.

Today, however, Ranmaru was leaving by himself. Ren and Masato had been the last to go outside, two days ago, but they had been gone for a day and hadn’t found much in the direction they had chosen to head. Tokiya, though, had managed to twist his ankle yesterday when he had stepped on a weak floorboard and his foot had gone straight through. Ren and Masato were still recovering from their trip and Ranmaru was insistent on going out. 

He was also insistent that Tokiya wasn’t going to be joining him. 

“It’s dangerous.” Tokiya frowns. 

“‘N it’d be more of a risk on both of us if I took you.” Ranmaru’s voice is stern. Ren and Masato were in their shared room and Tokiya is sitting up in the bed he shared with Ranmaru. Right now, they were in a long abandoned house, but the power hadn’t been cut off in the area which gave them electricity, heat and running water, and there was furniture. They had been visited by an infected that was likely related to the old owners of this house, but they had taken care of it. 

Unfortunate, in Tokiya’s opinion, but necessary. 

Tokiya felt bad about killing any infected, but when it came down to it being them or his group, he would always choose Ranmaru, Ren and Masato. It may not have been the infected’s fault that they are gone- but they _are_ gone. 

That argument is harder to think about, however, when they’re faced with a group of them. Especially when it’s only a pair of infected, and it’s made even harder because Tokiya had seen one of the infected, sitting on the ground next to the body of a dead one. It hadn’t even looked up when Tokiya and Ranmaru had gotten closer. 

“I’m gonna come back. Safe ‘n sound.” Ranmaru promises, his voice softening as he leans in to press his lips to Tokiya’s forehead. “‘Fore you even know it.”

Tokiya glances away, his eyebrows pulling together. He hated this. He hated when Ranmaru left without him. Tokiya was the weaker fighter of the two, but two was better than one… right? Tokiya swallows hard, and his voice is a bit weak. “Goodbye.”

Ranmaru sighs, but there’s some strained amusement in it. “‘S not goodbye.” Normally, Ranmaru would roll his eyes. But this situation felt more serious. Ranmaru leans in, stopping just before his lips press to Tokiya's. “It’s see you later.”

It was cheesy and cliche and both of them knew it- but Tokiya had pulled this on Ranmaru a very long time ago when Ranmaru had to go on tour for an extended time. It was a way to pretend that Tokiya wasn’t upset about Ranmaru being forced to leave him alone. Ranmaru had rolled his eyes at the time- but when it was Tokiya’s time to leave Ranmaru for an extended time, Ranmaru had returned the favor. 

It had become a thing. It had come naturally the first few times, but this isn’t the first time that Tokiya’s forced the opportunity. 

Ranmaru closes the rest of the gap, pressing his lips to Tokiya’s. 

“You want me ‘t tell Ren ‘n Masa to come in ‘ere? Think there’s a deck ‘a cards downstairs.” Ranmaru hasn’t even fully pulled away from the kiss, nearly mumbling against Tokiya’s lips. 

“I don’t know.” Tokiya keeps his voice quiet. “Not that they aren’t nice company, but I’d like to sleep this off. I just worry that I won’t be able to fall asleep.”

“Would it make you feel better if I stayed long enough for you to try?”

“It wouldn’t.” Tokiya sighs. “Because then you’d be out past dark.”

“Why don’t you try, ‘n I’ll let Ren know ‘t check on you in an hour ‘r so.”

“...Alright.” Tokiya’s hand lifts, his hand lacing in the back of Ranmaru’s hair to encourage Ranmaru to kiss him again. “Please stay safe.” Tokiya manages to keep his voice steady when Ranmaru pulls back. 

“I will.” Ranmaru promises. He’s slow in getting up, but he does. He gets to the door before he turns back, his expression almost stern. “‘M gonna have Ren tell me, too, if you start tryin’ to wander around the house. If you wanna start goin’ out with me again you need ‘t stay off ‘a that ankle.”

Tokiya sighs. “I will.” When Ranmaru stares for a long few extra seconds, Tokiya holds his hands up in surrender. “I will, I promise.”

Ranmaru shakes his head, but it’s light hearted. He doesn’t fully close the door, choosing to leave it open just a crack. 

Tokiya really does try to fall asleep, but as he expected, he was too worried about Ranmaru to actually get any rest. 

When Ren checks on him, Tokiya doesn’t speak, but Ren notices quickly that Tokiya is looking straight at him. Ren gives a good natured sigh. 

“He’ll be fine.” Ren promises, entering the room. Ren leans against the wall, across the bed from Tokiya. “How did you sleep last night? I can’t remember you ever taking naps.”

“I was thinking about today.” Tokiya admits. “And it kept me up. Because what if something happens? I don’t like Ran being out there alone.”

“It’s dangerous, but it’s a necessary risk.” Ren’s voice is grim. “But he’s the strongest of the four of us and we’ve all been doing this for a very long time.” Ren then brings a hand up, the side of his index finger curled against his chin as his expression turns thoughtful, though there’s a sly expression just behind that. “If you don’t think you can get to sleep, why don’t we go out to the living room?”

“That sounds like you’re setting me up to be in trouble.”

Ren laughs. “He doesn’t have to know. I can help you out there and we can get you back in before he comes back.”

Tokiya’s smile is small, but it’s genuine. “It sounds better than just laying in bed.”

Ren lets Tokiya sit up at his own pace, and Ren heavily supports Tokiya. He gets Tokiya’s arm over his shoulder and on the way to the living room Tokiya doesn’t step on his hurt ankle. Ren helps him settle into the couch, though when Masato notices Ren leading Tokiya through the hallway, Masato follows them. Just by a glance Tokiya can tell that Masato has the gun tonight, tucked into his waistband. 

Tokiya almost wishes that Ranmaru had brought it with him- but Tokiya supposes that maybe it wasn’t the worst. Heaven forbid that Ranmaru fire it and get inflicted on him by the noise. 

“You both have a death wish, I see.” Masato comments when Tokiya is fully settled on the couch. He must have heard the (what Tokiya imagines to be) threat from Ranmaru. 

“We’ll get him back in his bed before Ran returns.” Ren assures. “Would you care to join us for a game, Masa?”

Masato rolls his eyes, but in the end, he joins them. 

It really was fun. They can’t be _too_ loud, but Masato and Tokiya were naturally soft spoken and Ren’s voice was deep and low, but not loud in the way that Ranmaru’s is. Sometimes Ranmaru sounded like he was yelling, whether he was or not. 

They play a multitude of games, and all of them have the names of actual card games. Blackjack, Rummy, Poker, Cribbage. 

It was very well known between all of them that they didn’t really know how to play half of the games. Some games they tend to use the name of an actual game but then make up their own rules. If Tokiya ever got to see the actual rules for the games, he thinks that they would be absolutely nothing like the way they played. 

There were working clocks in the house- any clocks that worked on electricity actually worked, but all of them were different times and they didn’t have one in the living room, anyways. All three of them had “lost track of time”- not that any of them really had any idea of time before it.

They’re still in the living room when Ranmaru returns. Ranmaru doesn’t hesitate to enter the safehouse to close and lock the door, but then Tokiya is fixed with a hard stare that Tokiya can feel through Ranmaru’s gas mask.

Tokiya offers a sheepish smile. “...Welcome home?”

Ranmaru gives a heavy sigh as he reaches up to take off the mask, his expression pure exasperation. They were no longer actively playing cards, but the deck was still splayed on the table, not yet back in their box. 

Ranmaru doesn’t speak, choosing to head further in the living room to take off his backpack, but Tokiya can tell that he isn’t really angry. 

Tokiya can’t even bring himself to really feel guilty, though. He’s too relieved to see Ranmaru, and it seems as if Ranmaru is tired but uninjured. He isn’t limping and his clothes aren’t ripped. Tokiya will check more later, but there’s nothing life threatening, at least.

“Didn’t I give _all_ ‘a you _one_ job?” Ranmaru raises an eyebrow after placing the bag down on the end of the coffee table. 

“I didn’t step on my leg.” Tokiya promises. “But I might if you don’t come over here.”

That gets an eye roll from Ranmaru, but Ranmaru lets Ren open the bag as Ranmaru walks over to Tokiya. 

Tokiya had never been one for PDA, but Ren was shameless with his relationship with Masato in the safehouse and Tokiya had grown less hesitant. It means that he doesn’t hesitate now when he pulls Ranmaru down into a kiss as soon as Ranmaru is near enough to him. 

Tokiya keeps it short, but when Tokiya lets go of Ranmaru, Ranmaru settles himself on the arm of the couch next to Tokiya. Tokiya takes Ranmaru’s hand, and Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya’s hand in return. 

“Told you I’d come back.”

“I wasn’t worried about _you_ doing something wrong.” Tokiya sighs. “But I’d prefer it if we didn’t make one person expeditions a common place thing.”

“We’ll do our best.” Ranmaru assures. 

For the next year, no one goes out alone, though they are forced to change safe houses once again when the infected activity near them starts increasing. They stay in the power grid that is still, blissfully, up, but their next safehouse is much smaller. They still have two rooms, but this building is more of a stand alone apartment than a house. 

At first, when Ranmaru had gotten sick, Tokiya had gotten terrified. Worked up into tears. Ranmaru had reached out, squeezing Tokiya’s arm. His voice is hoarse. 

“Relax. I don’t want you too close ‘t me right now, but it ain’t the same symptoms.” Ranmaru drops his hand back down at his side. “I’m not infected. ‘M just sick.” Ranmaru opens one eye when Tokiya doesn’t respond. “I mean it.” He sounds tired. “If I thought there was any chance that I was infected, I wouldn’t hide it. It’s the flu, babe.”

Tokiya gives a short nod, but he still doesn’t feel much better. It was already unpleasant to see him sick, but with everything considered, Tokiya couldn’t push down the fear. He doubted that the fear would be gone until Ranmaru was better. 

Ranmaru had gotten sick the day after Ren and Masato’s expedition, which brought Tokiya and Ranmaru’s expedition to the next day. Ranmaru was still sick- far too sick to make it anywhere. Ren and Masato had gotten some supplies, but not enough to put their scavenging off for another two days. It had been the night before when Masato had knocked on Tokiya’s door. Tokiya had chosen to step outside of the room to speak with him. 

“How is Ranmaru?”

“He’s still sick.” Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. “He’s no worse than yesterday, but he isn’t better, either.”

“...What would you like to do about tomorrow, Tokiya? Should Ren and I prepare to head out?”

“That wouldn’t be fair to you.” Tokiya frowns. He knew first hand how tiring it was, scavenging. They had chosen for each pair to have four days in between heading out because that was an adequate amount of time to rest. He knew that _he_ was just starting to get his energy back by the end of the second day, but that he wouldn’t want to have to go out again during the third. “It’s been quite some time since Ran had gone out by himself- but I’ll just pull it together and do tomorrow’s route alone.”

Masato’s expression turns uncertain. “Are you sure?”

“It will be fine.” Tokiya assures. “I’ll avoid conflict and try to stay in low activity areas.”

“If you’re positive.” Masato doesn’t sound very sure himself, but he’s letting Tokiya win this. After all, Tokiya wasn’t the strongest fighter- actually, between the four of them, he was the weakest. But he had made it this far and he wasn’t _incapable_. 

“I am. But it’s kind of you both to offer.”

“If you decide tomorrow that you’d rather stay, or if you’d prefer not to be alone, you can always ask either of us.”

“I appreciate it.” Tokiya offers him a smile. Admittedly, it’s a bit tired. It was taking it out of him, worrying over Ranmaru. “I should get some rest. Have a good night, Masato.”

“Rest well, Tokiya.”

Tokiya goes back into the room, but Ranmaru is already asleep. He had been asleep for most of the day. Tokiya had stayed awake, particularly so that he could go get Ranmaru anything that Ranmaru needs. 

He’d have to remember to ask Ren or Masato to watch over Ranmaru tomorrow. 

Tokiya doesn’t wake Ranmaru up, choosing to instead get ready for bed and to lay down. 

Tokiya doesn’t sleep _well_ , but he sleeps, and he wakes up with enough energy to pull himself together to go out. As he’s getting ready, Ranmaru wakes up. 

“What’re you doin’?” Ranmaru’s voice is still tired and hoarse. It’s too soon to tell if Ranmaru will do any better today, but he certainly still isn’t feeling _well_. It’s hard for him to hide his miserable expression now, less than a moment after waking up. 

“I’m getting ready to head out.”

“What?”

“You’ve been out of commission for three days now- it’s our turn to leave. But you’re not feeling well enough and someone needs to go. Just get some more rest and I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I don’t like this.” Ranmaru tries to sit up, and it gets Tokiya to head back to him to gently push him back down. 

“I’ll be fine, Ran. I much prefer the pair idea, but I’m capable. I’ll tell you just what I told Masato- I’ll check low activity areas and keep distance between me and the inflicted. I’m not going to fight unless I have no choice.”

“I don’t like it.” Ranmaru repeats. 

“You went out alone and came back safe.”

Ranmaru stays quiet, but Tokiya thinks he knows why. Tokiya doesn’t think that Ranmaru thinks that Tokiya is incapable. He doesn’t think that Ranmaru believes he’s defenseless. But Tokiya knows he isn’t the strongest of the group and Ranmaru knows that, too. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Tokiya promises. He knows that Ranmaru is sick, but he still leans down to press a kiss to Ranmaru’s forehead, though when Tokiya is done, he begins to head towards the door.

Ranmaru sighs heavily, speaking right before Tokiya gets out of the bedroom door. “Bye, Toki.”

Tokiya turns. He smiles, but there’s a weight to this one. “It’s not goodbye.” There’s just a bit too much grimness in this, but Tokiya is trying. He appreciates Ranmaru’s attempt. “It’s see you later.”

Tokiya lets Ren know that he’s heading out before he does, and Ren promises him that he’ll keep an eye out on Ranmaru. 

With that, Tokiya takes an empty bag and he puts on a gas mask before he heads outside.

Everything seems oddly normal. It’s a thought Tokiya has everytime he goes outside. The only obvious difference between now and three years ago is how empty everything is. How desolate. Things haven’t fully gone to hell because there was nothing _wrecking_ anything. Some places were overgrown with plants or wildlife, but some areas still hadn’t been affected, too far away from any greenery to be overgrown. 

Usually the only people that Tokiya ever saw when walking were infected- but today he sees _people_. It’s a group of about four, all leaning against a car, holding various weapons. Tokiya has his bat in his hand, and seeing them doesn’t make him eager to release it. He wants to turn and walk away, but he’s been spotted. 

They aren’t wearing the type of mask that Tokiya is. Tokiya’s mask is a full gas mask. It was the only kind that they had- and it hid almost his entire face. This group were all wearing types of gas masks, but they ended under their eyes. 

When they start towards him, yelling something that Tokiya can’t quite hear, Tokiya tries to back track, but their yelling has attracted at least five infected. Tokiya couldn’t fight his way through it, and if one of them started clinging onto him… 

The people are starting to look more aggressive the closer they get near him. 

“What are you, fuckin’ mute?” One of the boys in the group scowls, quickly catching up to Tokiya. He ends up walking past Tokiya, but he pushes Tokiya hard enough to knock Tokiya over, knocking his bat out of his hands. 

Tokiya stays quiet, scrambling back. His eyes widen as they begin to take out the inflicted. They work in sync. It would be impressive, if Tokiya didn’t just want to leave. 

Tokiya tries to use his chance to get up. He does get to his feet, but as he’s trying to grab his bat and flee, they approach him again. 

“We asked you who you were.” One of the girls says, clearly annoyed. 

When Tokiya doesn’t respond, one of the men reaches forward and _rips_ the mask off of his face, tossing it over his shoulder, a decent distance away. 

“We’re _talkin’_ to you, dipshit.”

Tokiya’s hands are covering his mouth, his eyes wide. He’s trying to hold his breath. 

“Whatever. Just grab his pack.” The first girl speaks again. 

Tokiya can’t even fight them when they force his bag off of his shoulder. He hadn’t gotten much, anyways, but they take his pack and his weapon and then they leave. His chest is burning and he’s already had to give in and take a breath.

As soon as Tokiya is free of the group, he makes a mad dash for his mask. By the time he gets it on, he’s had to take another breath. Tokiya can feel his eyes burn, but he continues. He can hear them complaining about what little is in his pack, but they don’t pursue and that’s enough for Tokiya. 

Tokiya finds somewhere isolated for him to sit and really take in the situation. He’s crying underneath his mask, and while it is uncomfortable, he won’t be taking off his mask again.

Tokiya could very well be infected now. He won’t know until at least two days. Until he gets really sick. 

A few breaths might not be too much- but even one breath could be too many. Tokiya wants to wait it out. He’d rather not go back and to see if he really is infected or not, but he knows that he can’t. 

The first reason is because if he’s not back by nightfall, it’s likely that someone will come look for him. They may not tonight, but they would by as early as tomorrow morning. 

The second reason is because if he is infected and he ends up getting sick, he may not be able to return. He needs to return to _warn_ them. Because if he turns, the safehouse is going to be the first place he heads, in search of Ranmaru. 

Tokiya forces himself up. 

It’s immediately obvious that something is wrong because Tokiya comes back far too early in the day. The next sign is the lack of a backpack and the lack of a weapon. Ranmaru is clearly still in the room, but the door is open and Ranmaru’s surprisingly fast to push himself up, heading to the doorway of their room. 

“What happened?” Ren is the first to speak, clearly alarmed. 

“I ran into people.” Tokiya’s voice is strained and weak and it’s very obvious that he had been crying. “I- I have something important to talk about but I… need some time.”

Tokiya couldn’t, and wouldn’t, hide his potential infection, but he wasn’t contagious until the end of his sickness. He likely wouldn’t even be sick yet, tomorrow. It would be at least the day after that before he could tell if he were or weren’t infected. 

“Alright.” Ren’s voice is gentle. He starts to approach Tokiya, but Ranmaru is coming out of the room. Tokiya was still wearing his mask at the moment- out of comfort rather than necessity. Ranmaru is gentle when he takes off Tokiya’s mask, but he starts eyeing Tokiya’s face as soon as he gets the mask off. 

There’s only very slight relief when there are no injuries on his face, but the tears aren't setting well with Ranmaru. 

“Did they hurt you?” Ranmaru’s voice is dangerous. 

“I’ll talk about it tomorrow.” Tokiya says weakly. “But while they did steal my things, they didn’t… attack me.”

Ranmaru clearly doesn’t like the way that Tokiya speaks about it, grabbing Tokiya’s face by the chin and tilting his head up, taking a closer look at Tokiya’s face. 

“No more goin’ out alone. Obviously ‘s not safe.” Ranmaru glances over his shoulder. “‘N that goes for everyone.”

“I agree.” Ren voices his agreement, though Masato just nods. “We have enough materials that we shouldn’t be too set back by waiting two more days.” Ren assures. “You should get some rest, Toki.”

Tokiya just gives a silent nod.

Ranmaru takes Tokiya back to the room. 

“How are you feeling?” Tokiya’s voice is careful, but it’s a bit empty, too. 

“Worried.” Ranmaru says gruffly, and then he sighs, getting Tokiya into the bed before he gets in it himself. “I’m not as bad as I’ve been. Think I’m in the last stretch.”

When Ranmaru gets into the bed, he holds Tokiya tightly. 

“I don’t really like waitin’ ‘til tomorrow. Somethin’ obviously happened. I’d rather talk about it now.”

Tokiya swallows hard, ducking his head into Ranmaru’s chest. His voice breaks when he speaks. “They ripped off my mask. ...I might be infected, Ran.” Ranmaru is tense and silent. Tokiya can’t hold in his tears, though he talks through them. “...You all can’t stay here. If I turn… I can’t know where you are.”

“I’m not leavin’ you.” That spurs Ranmaru into speaking. It’s passionate in the worst kind of way. “I’m tellin’ you right now that this is endin’ one ‘a three ways. Y’might not be infected. Obviously that’s how I’m hopin’ it ends. It’d be the best way it could. ...If you are.” Ranmaru’s grip on Tokiya almost hurts. “We’ll tell Ren ‘n Masa ‘t leave. ...If you don’t wanna turn, we’ll wait as long as you wanna ‘n then I’ll kill you, ‘fore you turn. Or… you’ll turn. ‘N you’ll infect me, ‘n that’ll be… that.”

Pain settles in Tokiya’s chest, and this round of crying is hard enough that Tokiya has to wait before he can speak to Ranmaru. “The… the second option. What…” There’s fear in Tokiya’s voice when he speaks. “What would you do?”

Ranmaru’s voice is quiet. Empty. “I’m fuckin’ tired, Toki.”

Tokiya presses his forehead against Ranmaru’s chest hard enough to hurt. 

They stay quiet until Tokiya cries himself into exhaustion. Ranmaru only pulls Tokiya back enough to take a tissue from a box they had on the floor near their bed to wipe off his face before he lets Tokiya sleep. 

The next day, Tokiya has to bring it up to Ren and Masato. He’s still upset, but he’s not crying anymore. He isn’t close, but his voice is grim and sad. Ranmaru is standing very close to Tokiya, holding onto his hand. Tokiya isn’t sitting. He’s too nervous. 

“Yesterday, the group that I ran into- they tore off my mask. ...There’s a chance that I’ve been infected.”

Masato’s eyes have widened in horror. Ren looks disbelieving. Like he desperately wants to believe that Tokiya is lying. 

“I can’t be sure yet.” Tokiya continues quietly. Grimly. “But if I find that I am, I’d like the both of you to leave. I don’t want to infect you.”

“But you don’t know for sure.” Ren says carefully. 

“I don’t. ...That’s the only reason that I’m not asking the both of you to leave now.”

“...Then there’s no harm in assuming the best, is there? That you _weren’t_ infected.”

Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. He understands Ren’s feelings. He’d be incredibly upset to hear this happen to Masato or to Ren. He won’t even entertain the idea of this happening to Ranmaru. “...There’s no harm in that.” Tokiya agrees. 

He very rarely looked on the bright side of things- but there was no risk right now. He wasn’t contagious yet, after all.

That night, Tokiya and Ranmaru don’t separate themselves in their room. They stay out in the living room. It was Ren’s turn to cook and he’s generous with the portions tonight, putting more effort into making a meal that Tokiya likes. They play card games- and after searching down a pad of paper and a pencil they play mad libs. 

It was very… domestic. 

It was nice. It had been some time since Tokiya had laughed.

Tokiya doesn’t even feel emotional over it until the night actually comes to an end, a good few hours after they usually head into their bedrooms to sleep. Masato squeezes Tokiya’s arm with a smile that is too weighed down, and Ren pulls Tokiya into a hug. 

“You’re going to be okay.” Ren says firmly. Tokiya wants to believe him, but he’s not sure that Ren even believes himself. 

Tokiya doesn’t respond. Ranmaru stays close to him when they go into their room. 

That night, Ranmaru and Tokiya are intimate. 

Tokiya tries not to think about how this may be the last time that they’re able to be close like this. Tokiya doesn’t bring it up until they’re laying next to each other, Ranmaru curled over Tokiya. 

“I don’t want to be infected.” Tokiya’s voice breaks. “I want it to be a close call. I want Ren to be right.”

“We don’t know anythin’ yet.” Ranmaru’s voice is too grim. “But I hope Ren’s right, too. But even if he’s not, I’m gonna be ‘ere. Maybe that doesn’t sound like too much of a reassurance right now, but you’re not gonna have ‘t be alone.”

Tokiya’s voice breaks. “Thank you.”

Tokiya wakes up to a coughing fit. His entire chest hurts and it’s difficult to catch his breath. He accidentally forces his way out of Ranmaru’s grip as he chokes, and Ranmaru sits himself up to rub Tokiya’s back. 

When Tokiya starts to get upset, the coughing gets worse, and that’s when Ranmaru moves to the side of the bed Tokiya is on to try to calm him. 

Ranmaru’s hold on Tokiya is very loose, his thumb running over Tokiya’s shoulder. 

“You’ve gotta try ‘t calm down ‘n breathe. I know it’s hard, but you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“What does it matter?” Tokiya can barely speak between his coughing, but he’s still trying. It feels like he’s coughing up a lung and he’s almost afraid that he might actually do that. “I’m dead, Ran. What does it matter if I do it faster?”

Ranmaru stays quiet, but he holds Tokiya just a bit tighter. 

Tokiya’s coughing ends up getting Ren and Masato’s attention. There’s a soft knock on the front door. 

“Y’can come in.” Ranmaru’s voice is flat. 

Ren opens the door, but Masato is over his shoulder. 

Tokiya has finally stopped coughing, trying to catch his breath. 

“I’ll go get you water.” Masato’s voice is so soft. 

Tokiya just nods. His throat is already sore and his chest is aching. 

Ren walks further in the room as Masato heads out to get water. 

Ren ends up making his way to sit on the edge of the bed on the other side of Tokiya. His hand lands on Tokiya’s back, just above Ranmaru’s arm. 

Masato returns with a bottle that he’s filled with water and Tokiya takes it numbly. 

He can’t speak until he’s drank quite a bit of water. 

“...You really won’t leave with them, Ran?” Tokiya’s voice is very hoarse. He can’t look at Ranmaru. 

“I care about ‘em.” Ranmaru glances up, at Masato and Ren, and then at Tokiya. “But I don’t wanna keep goin’ without you.”

Tokiya bites on his lip to stifle a sob. He swallows hard before he speaks again. “You could kill me now.”

“...If that’s really what you want me to do, Toki, I will. But I’m still not gonna be leavin’ with them.”

“I know it’s hard- but I don’t… I don’t want you to die, too, Ran. Even if I’ll be too gone to care. ...Even if I’ll be the one killing _you_.”

“...I don’t know how you’ll take this.” Ren says grimly. “But if I didn’t have Masa to protect, I don’t think that I’d leave you, either. And even then- Masa and I will still stay for the next few days. We’ll stay with you as long as we can.”

It ends up being three days. 

Ren and Masato only leave once. When they go out to scavenge, they stay out longer than they usually do. 

While Tokiya still feels well enough to move, he’s not often left alone, but he’s thankful for that. 

It’s hard to say who he’s more thankful to. He hopes that this will be the last time he sees Ren and Masato because he doesn’t want to find them while he’s infected. He doesn’t want them to have to choose between killing him and letting him turn them. It makes him appreciate the last bit of time that he’s going to have with them more. 

But Ranmaru is willing to stay. Willing may not even be a strong enough word. Tokiya would be happy if Ranmaru changed his mind, even if it would hurt Tokiya in the last few days that he has. Tokiya doesn’t _want_ to die alone, but he doesn’t want Ranmaru to die, either. That doesn’t mean that some dark part of him isn’t happy. He’s not going to be alone. He won’t die alone, he won’t be alone when he turns… he’s not going to lose Ranmaru. 

It’s a very _dark_ silver lining… but it’s the only silver lining that he has. 

Ren’s face breaks Tokiya’s heart, the first day that he’s stuck in bed. He’s started coughing up blood at this point. His entire body hurts. Breathing hurts. 

Ren’s hand lands on his forehead. 

“I’m going to miss you, Toki.” Ren’s fighting to keep his voice steady. Tokiya manages a flickering smile. Masato is holding onto Ren’s arm, but it’s clear that he’s fighting back emotion, too.

“Thank you both for staying with me as long as you have.” Tokiya’s voice is almost gone. He’s been coughing more than he hasn’t at this point. 

“We’ve left enough supplies for around two weeks.” Masato’s voice is very quiet, but he’s clearly upset. “...Goodbye, Tokiya. Ranmaru.”

Ren’s hand slowly retreats from Tokiya’s head, and Masato gently squeezes Tokiya’s calf. 

Tokiya doesn’t cry. If he had more energy, he would. 

Ranmaru’s expression is dark. It’s sad. Tokiya turns over to curl into Ranmaru and Ranmaru holds him. 

“This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” Tokiya says miserably. 

“...’S not what I hoped would happen, either.”

“I can’t… I’ve asked you multiple times to leave- but what I haven’t told you is that I’m thankful. I don’t _want_ to die alone. It’s a comforting thought that I’m not going to die alone and that I’m not going to be alone, after I turn. I never… I never wanted to be a lone inflicted. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m ungrateful for your choice.”

“I know, babe.” Ranmaru’s voice is soft in a way that Tokiya doesn’t often hear it be. “...But I did this for me, too. The world’s gone ‘t shit ‘n losin’ you doesn’t feel worth it. If I’m gonna eventually end up dead ‘r changed… I don’t like the idea ‘a searchin’ for you forever ‘n maybe not ever findin’ you again. ‘N if you managed ‘t find me, then all I would’a done was push off turnin’ ‘n be pretty miserable, anyways, ‘cause I wouldn’t ‘a killed you.” 

Tokiya quiets down. 

The next day, Tokiya can still speak to Ranmaru in between coughing, but that’s the last day. The last few are spent with his insides and his outsides starting to decay. Tokiya’s just aware enough to notice how Ranmaru is beginning to get sick, too. 

When Tokiya has fully turned, his expression is blank. Ranmaru isn’t sure what he’s thinking. He isn’t sure that Tokiya is thinking anything. 

It hurts to see him, but Ranmaru’s already become mostly bedridden. 

For some time, Tokiya continues holding Ranmaru, and Ranmaru doesn’t let go of Tokiya either.

Tokiya stays by him for the entirety of his turning. Ranmaru does get up a few more times to eat. He’s kept bottles of water by his bed, to keep himself from dying of dehydration. In the few times Ranmaru gets up, Tokiya clings onto his arm. 

While Ranmaru actually turns, Tokiya stays sitting by Ranmaru’s bed, near his hip. Tokiya keeps a hand on Ranmaru, though he stares forward at the wall. 

When Ranmaru finally does turn, Tokiya moves. Tokiya returns to the bed. 

They find themselves in a position similar to the one before Tokiya had turned. They’re clinging onto each other, laying in the bed. 

They’re unnaturally still, but it’s how they stay, unmoving. It’s almost like sleep, but they’re both as alive as they can be. 

They never do search for Ren and Masato. They don’t search for any of the others that they both had assumed they may try to find. 

In the end, they remain together in the bed.


	2. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an alternative ending- it would take place after the line, _Tokiya's voice breaks. "Thank you."_

Tokiya doesn’t let himself get his hopes up for the next two days. He only knows _of_ the sickness that he would experience, and he’s nervous. 

And then, he gets sick. 

At first, Ranmaru is grim. There’s heartbreak, poorly hidden in his expression- and then Tokiya throws up. 

Tokiya isn’t sure that he’s ever seen Ranmaru so relieved. 

Ranmaru’s entire body slumps when Tokiya lays back down after getting sick. Ranmaru’s forehead presses to Tokiya’s shoulder. 

“You’re gonna be fine.” Ranmaru’s voice is tired, but even with how terrible Tokiya feels, the tone of complete relief in Ranmaru’s voice hits Tokiya hard. 

“But I’m sick.” Tokiya’s voice is uneasy, but he wants to trust Ranmaru. 

“I must’a given you the flu. If you were infected, Toki, you wouldn’t be throwin’ up. That’s not a symptom. You’d be coughin’ by now.”

“...Really?” Tokiya’s voice has changed. He’s cautiously optimistic. 

“Really.” Ranmaru’s forehead presses harder to Tokiya’s shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay. Fuck, I’ve never been happy ‘t see you sick before, but I’m glad ‘t see you sick like _this_.”

Tokiya manages a weak laugh. It’s not that he finds the situation _funny_ \- but it’s the first way that he knows to react to this. 

“It’s not a death sentence.” Tokiya lets his eyes closed. “If I’m really not infected, I can get through this.”

They must have been loud enough to get the attention of Ren and Masato, because there’s a knock on their door. 

Ranmaru won’t let go of Tokiya. He’s not going to get up, but he still calls out, “Y’can come in.”

Ren’s voice is cautious, but Masato’s face is the first one to fall. Ranmaru is the first to notice and correct it. “He’s sick, but it’s not infection sick.” Ranmaru assures. “He’s gonna be okay.”

“Oh thank God.” Ren breathes out, making his way closer to Tokiya. Masato follows closely behind him. 

When Tokiya opens his eyes, Ren is smiling and Masato looks relieved. 

“I told you that it would be alright.” 

Tokiya can’t help another, weak laugh. “This is your one and only ‘I told you so’.”

“Then I’ll have to make the most of it.” Ren’s teasing is stronger, knowing that Tokiya will be alright. 

“He is still sick.” Masato’s voice isn’t stern. He almost sounds happy, despite what he’s actually saying. “We should let him rest, Ren. We can appreciate the fact that he will be fine when he’s actually _feeling_ fine.”

“You have a point.” Ren relents. “Rest up, Toki. Masa and I can take care of the next few expeditions.”

“If it gets too much, lemme know ‘n I can go with one of ya. If it gets ‘t it.”

“With them.” Tokiya glances over at Ranmaru. “Not alone. Right?”

“I was the one that said no more solos ‘n I meant it. One scare’s enough, Toki.” Ranmaru promises.

“Good.” 

Tokiya lets his eyes close as Ren and Masato leave the room. 

It takes a good four days for Tokiya to fully heal. He doesn’t ask to be waited on hand and foot, but that’s what ends up happening. Ranmaru is the first to bring Tokiya anything he needs. Tokiya is eating and drinking in the bedroom, and he notices that Ranmaru is bringing him generous portions, still. He notices it more when Ranmaru brings a plate for himself, to eat with Tokiya, and Ranmaru actually has less on his plate than Tokiya has on his. 

Ranmaru does end up accompanying Masato on the outing they go on the day before Tokiya is better, but Ren keeps up the habit of spoiling Tokiya. Ren ends up spending the day sitting in the spot of the bed that Ranmaru had been laying in to make sure that he’s available for anything that Tokiya needs. 

Ren also gives Tokiya very generous portions and won’t hear any arguments about it. 

It’s a few hours before Ranmaru and Masato return when Ren reaches out, squeezing Tokiya’s arm. His smile is small, but it’s genuine. “I’m not sure that I can properly express how glad I am that this was nothing but a scare, Toki. But this was a wakeup call that I think we needed. It won’t be happening again.”

“It was an unfortunate situation.” Tokiya’s voice is grim. “I don’t want to go out alone anymore. I don’t want anyone out alone anymore- but at least we know the dangers now. ...I didn’t want to leave any of you. And I didn’t want Ran to damn himself with me. I’m very glad that it was nothing but a close call, too.”

It’s the day after Tokiya feels better when Ren gives him a very tight bear hug. While Tokiya wouldn’t consider it to be _“out of nowhere”_ , it _had_ taken him off guard. 

Tokiya had, of course, hugged him back. He catches Masato’s smile from Masato’s place on the couch. Ranmaru’s eyebrow is raised, but he’s clearly amused. 

When Ren finally lets Tokiya go, he ruffles Tokiya’s hair. 

“Now, Ran and Masa found some good things when they went looking yesterday. Why don’t I make something you’d like, Toki?”

Tokiya’s sigh is partly happy and partly exasperated. “While I appreciate it, you don’t need to stay on a ‘Tokiya menu’, Ren.”

Ren hums, already heading to the kitchen. “We’ll see.”


End file.
